What A day! And Yet So Normal? – Part 3

This blog post is part 3 of a 3-part series. Please follow me as I reveal what strengths you and I can draw upon to rise above a demanding situation. I hope to continue relating to you at the described Survival stage of life. In this posting, a caregiving and single parenting dilemma is introduced.

The full series introduces a day in the beginning of my Single parenting and Caregiving. Part 1 speaks of Emotional pain, self- encouragement, and taking action despite our difficult situations. Part 2 discusses a parent’s past and provides an example of a conflict management and a related teaching strategy using a parenting scenario.

Here you go:

A day in the beginning of my single parenting/caregiving

End of that Day:

After my two little warriors fell asleep in their sleeping bags, I was left with the baby and my special needs son (SS) to lull to sleep before the end of my active care-giving day. Only then could I do my own evening routine and finally go to bed.

As I bathed and massaged the baby to prepare him for a good night’s sleep, I recalled that SS, a child of few-to-no-words, had earlier mumbled something whose echo signalled it was time for his medication. Keeping that in mind, I finished with the baby, got SS to brush his teeth, change from his then wet pajamas and take his medication. I tucked SS in for the night, noticing he seemed disturbed about something, but I was too tired to pursue that. I wished him goodnight and left.

In my bedroom, I realized that the work with the kids had given me a break from focusing on my own pain. I was grateful for them. It had been a long day with kid visitors coming and going and their parents picking them up after incessant excuses for the late pick ups. Exhausted and ready to sleep, I did my night routine, and finally knelt to pray.

Longing to Finally Get Some Rest:

The next thing I wake up to is something falling on my feet in my kneeling position. It is the Bible! Dropped by SS, I understand he is letting me know that we had skipped that part of his bedtime routine. Usually, the children and I would gather together to read the Bible, discuss and  relate to the story of the day, and then take turns praying before going to bed.

Tired and sleepy, I command him to go back to bed. He starts to punch his chin with his fist, bangs his head on several walls, and jumps up and down the stairs. Of course, everyone wakes up! Some are crying, some are hiding – scared. It is midnight now. It takes me three whole hours to settle everyone down and back into bed. Pheeeew!

What About my Job and all the supporting details?

Luckily for this incident, it was Saturday, the kids could sleep in the next day. Luckily, I was on maternity leave meaning I did NOT have a scheduled shift at my nursing job. I did not have to anticipate the possibility of the nanny calling in sick or not showing up to work. That meant I did not have to frantically call for a replacement nanny who would then say she did not have ample notice. Neither did I have to call in ‘unavailable,’ at the last minute, to my boss who would then have to look for a replacement Registered Nurse for my shift. The fact that I was on PAID leave, thank God, saved the day. There was a steady income and I was available to rescue my family.

And that was just the beginning. No luxury of sitting down long enough to rest. No time to ponder over things. I had to get going. That’s what caregivers do, and that’s what single parents do.

***

Whilst caregivers need rest as much as anybody else, rest is not always possible to catch. This situation calls for creativity and a realization that we cannot do everything on our own. Apart from our own inner strength and resilience, the other strength we can draw upon is found in others. Joining support groups and accepting help when we need it is not only necessary, but also wise. Teaching those we are raising or caring for to increasingly take on some of the work serves to both increase their self worth and take away some of the pressure from you.

We should also look very carefully at how we chose our careers during periods of intense caregiving demands. It is during such times that we can become overwhelmed, perform poorly and start feeling incapable and devalued. Pulling back and seeking resources and support may prevent burn out. It is ok to park your pride and seek plus accept help as you need it. I personally had three good friends I could call upon for help. Of the three, one was fairly reliable. That friend was a great blessing to my family.

***

Click here to be Simply Significant by helping someone through the Survival stage of life. As my token of appreciation, you will receive a free downloadable copy of my upcoming book:

THE TRI-WISDOM EFFECT: How to achieve success and true happiness while caring for others.

OR

Click here to sign up for Guidance & Support if you are a single parent or caregiver.

OR

Click here to pre-purchase The Tri-Wisdom Effect book and receive a free 30 minutes consultation (Worth $75) with one of the authors of the Tri-Wisdom Effect.

 

And…You wouldn’t want to miss my Next Blog Post, would you?

Here, I will introduce to you the concept of Tri-wisdom to help you simplify your life before we move on to a new 4-part series namely “Want to blossom?” Stay tuned. I will be posting every Thursday and the occasional Monday. 

THANK YOU AND SEE YOU THURSDAY FOR THE NEXT BLOG POST.

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0 replies
  1. Caroline N
    Caroline N says:

    This is very inspiring, cannot just stop going through your great encouraging wisdom. you have
    just answered so many questions that have been lingering in my thoughts..

    I look forward to hear more.
    Thanks. J

    Reply

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