What A Day! And Yet So Normal? Part 1

Welcome!poppy

In this blog post, I hope to relate to you at a described Survival stage of life. You will get a glimpse of who I am  and gain hope from a revelation of the strengths we all can draw upon to rise above difficult situations. This is part 1 of a 3-part series.

Uncover your own strengths by following me through an interesting day in the beginning of my Single parenting and Caregiving.

Here you go:

A day in the beginning of my single parenting/caregiving

***

“Come to the edge,” he said.
“We can’t, we’re afraid!” they responded.
“Come to the edge,” he said.
“We can’t, we will fall!” they responded.
“Come to the edge,” he said.
And so they came.
And he pushed them.
And they flew.”

― Guillaume Apollinaire

***

“She will not be able to care for four children by herself, let alone her ‘mad,’ autistic son,” they laughed as they chatted in hushed tones, circling their index fingers around the sides of their foreheads to signify she was crazy.

Image retrieved from www.FreeVector.com

‘Watch and see, it will not take months before she pleads with him to take her back.” They swore, betting on it with money they could not even afford to pay. They were that sure.

That ‘she’ that they were talking about, was me. It was the ‘me’ that had been held back by cultural expectations, religious beliefs, and past experiences. That old ‘me’ had taken too long to come to the edge.

But here, I now was. At the edge. Afraid I was falling down the imaginary cliff …

The day I heard those insensitive comments, I felt fear, even a bit of anger welling up within me. It was just enough to get me going but not too much to paralyse me. Memories of positive statements flooded my mind, giving me power to carry on. Memories such as Frank Sinatra’s ‘the best revenge is massive success,’ and Jesus Christ’s “forgive them for they do not know what they are doing.”

Purchase this image at http://www.stocksy.com/338246

retrieved from: https://www.stocksy.com/338246

That evening, I remember catching a glimpse of my baby who lay in my lap, softly cooing and flailing his arms and legs, inviting me to play in vain. At one point, he looked at me with a quizzical expression as if asking “What’s wrong, mom?” and at another point reassuring me “It will be Fine.” Consumed in deep thinking, my situation began to sink in and I quickly silenced that beautiful episode. I had just become a single parent of four children, including a special needs son. I felt all alone in a strange land. I had no residence status. A first-generation immigrant. A visitor with an overwhelming burden to carry. How was my life going to be? My children? Where to begin? How to…..

 

It will be Fine

quoted photo

Image from www.slaythechaos.com

As I thought about how difficult or even impossible it was going to be to manage the needs of my special needs son while working full time and raising his three siblings, fear truly gripped me. I could feel the emotional upheaval translating to physical pain as I alternated between fight and flight states in a beehive of mental activity. With more questions than answers, it was scary! Yet, somewhere within me, I felt there was a backbone. In there, I was resolute. If good was to come out of this, it was up to me to make it happen. I was going to make it work, somehow, somewhat, so help me, God. And He did!

“I have come to accept the feeling of not knowing where I am going. And I have trained myself to love it. Because it is only when we are suspended in mid-air with no landing in sight, that we force our wings to unravel and alas begin our flight. And as we fly, we still may not know where we are going to. But the miracle is in the unfolding of the wings. You may not know where you’re going, but you know that so long as you spread your wings, the winds will carry you”                                                    –Joy Bell C.

So True.

Yes, we all have strengths to draw upon. Stars within ourselves to shine the light to our essence. We just need to draw them out and set them up above our circumstances. Nowhere is this clearer to us than when misfortunes force a light to shine on who we really are.

 

*****

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THE TRI-WISDOM EFFECT: How to achieve success and true happiness while caring for others.

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And…You wouldn’t want to miss my Next Blog Post, would you? 

 Part 2 will be a continuation of this blog post: a little about my past and a continuation of what happened that day. I will be posting every Thursday and the occasional Monday. 

Thank you and see you Thursday for the next blog post.

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  1. […] full series introduces a day in the beginning of my Single parenting and Caregiving. Part 1 speaks of Emotional pain, self- encouragement, and taking action despite our difficult situations. […]

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